Changing the Default Action (to "Unsubscribe").

This morning as I woke up, I faced the biggest temptation: cute stripe Ts on sale.

My addiction to stripe shirts is well known (in our household anyway).  I wonder if it's because the light blue and white stripe shirt I got at age 13 was the first somewhat fashionable piece of clothing I acquired.  In any case, there is no doubt I have too many striped shirts.  St. James, Edith Miller, Petit Bateau, Splendid, ... you name it, I've got it.

This particular email was from CARDIGAN by Lynne Hiriak, which is a sweater company I absolutely adore, but only buy from when things are 50+% off, since it's somewhat pricey.

They were having a deal on Cherbourg Stripe Tee - 55% off.  Under $40.  And unfortunately, it's f#%$ing adorable:

What kind of morning torture was this?!  Even has a cute pocket!! My willpower was about to crumble.  So I confessed my temptation.

Then, my sage-like hubby suggested: There is only limited supply of will power to go around, so change your default action to limit exhausting that will power.

What???

His example: He is bad at turning people down or saying "No," so instead, when those charity people call for donations, he'd say as a default, "Can you take us off the list?"  That way he doesn't have to disagree or argue or say "No."

Huh.  It's kind of like verbal Aikido.  Instead of having to counter something head-on, you deflect it with something seemingly neutral.

So what is my magic phrase, "Can you take me off the list?"  It's the "Unsubscribe" button at the bottom of the email.  Instead of clicking on the product (old default action) and having to resist all the cute pictures from different angles, I will scroll down the email, and click on "Unsubscribe" (new default action).  That way, they won't be able to tell me that OMG-that's-such-a-cute-shirt is on sale in the future.

...And when I think about it, if I bought something at 50% off from them twice (which I have done), cumulatively I'd still be giving them the equivalent of 100%.  Duh.

I unsubscribed from their list today.  And gained another star.

-A

Unsubscribing from Sale Notification Emails.

One of the temptations I receive every day is the sale notification emails from various vendors.  Especially those flash sale sites - Gilt, Fab, Hautelook, and the like.  I'm I was also a sucker for J.Crew's daily emails.  They all make it sound like such a good deal not to be missed!  Today and tomorrow only, (up to) 30% off! 40% off! 50% off! 60% off!

In my head, I know that "good deals" aren't that good of a deal.  I had a friend who worked in the high-end apparel import/export business, and he told me just how cheaply these things are actually made.  Buttons cost pennies, fabric a few dollars, add some dirt cheap labor...  Most money is spent on marketing and retail, but even then retailers can still make handsome profits after discounts.  I realized that more fully when his company had their "friends and family, limited invitation only" sales - I could buy Armani Collezioni at 90% off, and they were still not losing money.  (Otherwise they wouldn't have these sales every year.)

But since I no longer had such access (turned out he had a crush on me and once I turned him down the perks ended), these emails offered somewhat good deals - it seemed like - well, better than regular pricing.

The thing is, unless you were planning on buying something you needed and that particular item happened to go on sale, sales aren't really good deals, because you end up spending the money you weren't going to spend otherwise.  You probably end up spending more than what you would have at regular price, because you tell yourself, "Oh, I might as well because it's such a good deal right now!"

Stupid.  I know.  I fall for it almost every time.  Because it's thrilling and fun - it's the hunt for the best sales, and the adrenaline rush I get from scoring the best deal.

So I figure, if I don't see that it exists, I'm less likely to be tempted.  Hence this week's goal: Unsubscribe from as many sale/apparel/shoes related emails as possible.  There were always so many they were overwhelming anyway.

I unsubscribed from a few already in the past few days, and to be honest, a part of me misses them.  For instance, I sometimes get styling clues from J.Crew emails, and it was fun to see outfits made of spring colors pop up in my inbox every day.  But I have to weigh the pros and cons here.

Pros:

1. I see cute outfits and get styling hints
2. Get cheered up by colors

Cons:

1. Get cheered up by colors to the point I'm tempted to buy items featuring those colors
2. End up spending money (which could be used for something more useful, like retirement)
3. End up getting items I don't need
4. Stress out myself and husband

Clearly there are more cons than pros...  I just had to write them out.

No more J.Crew emails for me.

-A

"Shop My Own Closet" project.

Have you ever told your spouse (or anyone), "Oh, I've had it for a while"?  Have you hidden boxes in the back of the closet, until you're alone to open them?  Or try to "intercept" and catch the packages before your spouse does?  Then you might know how I've felt.

It feels really great until I hit that "Confirm Order" button.  So many cute outfit possibilities!  How great I must feel in this new outfit!

Then, the consequences begin.  Shipping confirmations.  Debit card charged.  Boxes arrive every day.  I don't really remember all that I've ordered.  My closet is bursting at the seams.  I'm spending too much time preparing and tracking returns.

And all of this was stressing my husband.  Seeing new boxes every day made him sad.  Hurting him is absolutely the last thing I want to do.  I've decided - I need to put a stop to this.  Not just for my husband, but also to stop my cycle of momentary joy and self-loathing.

Hence, the "Shop My Own Closet" project.  I heard of this woman in Australia who set out not to shop for a year - by shopping her own closet. (Now she's made that into a business.)  I don't think I can do something *that* drastic, but I'm attempting to do something similar.

I will not shop for any clothing or shoes, until I have either worn or dealt with every single piece of clothing/shoes in my closet.  That is to say, if there is something in there, I have to figure out how I would work it into my current wardrobe, or if I don't wear it, I have to get rid of it.

In short, until I wear every single piece of clothing and shoes in my closet, I'm not allowing myself to buy anything. 

On top of the very full closet (←understatement), I have many clothes with tags still attached - this is a monumental task.

Since researches have shown going cold turkey is usually not the best way to go for addicts, I'm allowing myself some accessories within my "mad money" budget - like, belts that would make more outfits.  (We set aside the "mad money" budget each month to be used for anything we'd like.)

Each day I don't spend money on apparel, I get a star sticker on our calendar.

I decided to do this on May 10, and so far earned 3 stars.  Can I make it for a week?  We'll see...

-A